It makes most of us upset when we hear somebody speak poorly about us. Sometimes, we get angrier when we are insecure about what we are being criticized about. For example, if I have shame in what career I am in then I might react more to a criticism of it. We also sometimes react if we know that there is absolutely no truth to one someone is saying. Either way, the Enchiridion (a wonderful guide on how to better live a life), offers a way to get past these emotional reactions. This is the perspective it offers on those who speak down on us: "He does not know my other faults, else he would not have mentioned only these." So, if a person attacks some aspect of our behaviors, or personality, then we should say to ourselves, "Thank goodness they don't know our worse faults". That is one idea that you can take from this viewpoint, but whatever you take, hopefully it opens your mind on how to better look at unpleasant situations.
Source: The Enchiridion, by Epictetus
http://classics.mit.edu/Epictetus/epicench.html
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